Rockstar /rɒkstɑr/: Someone who’s achieved success in their field. A person who always confidently delivers the goods. If they say they are going to do something they do. They simply deliver consistent results while having fun.

Attitude /ˈætɪˌtud, -ˌtyud/: manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a positive attitude; group attitudes, rockstar attitude.

You say language learning is hard. I say it isn’t. To reach a mutual agreement here is a mouthful for you:

It is the state of mind when one knows that he is not to be stopped from comprehending and speaking a new language with ease. It is a state of mind where one knows that, yes, there are bumps on the road, but eventually he or she will get there. Better yet, having fun on the way.

You might expect some willy-nilly bullshit about how attitude is everything and I’m supposed to be Yoda here who throws “believe in yourself”, “it only depends on you”, “attitude is everything, you only need to embrace it” and other banal and corny phrases at you that make you feel a bit better. Instead here is the cold hard truth: a desirable (what’s more) sustainable attitude towards learning and acting in another language is easily attainable.

Funny enough I’m sure you know the guy who has it all: and that would be you. Yep, that’s it, end of session; pack your bags gals and ga… errrr, guys. Go home, stand (better yet: crouch) in the corner and sob. Sob, because you’ve had it already and you didn’t even know. Didn’t know how awesomely simple it is to be the Elvis Presley of a new language.

Since our beautifully designed, multitask-king mind is so developed it’s no wonder that accepting such unequivocal and simple fact is almost impossible. But being a language ninja (and in fact any ninja) one must clear and simplify things in the fastest manner possible. From the roots. A new perspective is needed. Look at the horizon, swipe your sweaty forehead, spit a big one and let’s get to work – because being a Rockstar is like being on stage. So we break this down into smaller stages.

Know That There is A Way (sounds like Bruce Lee)

Accepting Rockstardom is key to success. Knowing that there are ways where you don’t have to sweat, can laugh at yourself instead of getting embarrassed and can have fun on the way is Teh shit. The good news is: there are ways. And they are more fun than you think. You just need to see, better yet, visualize these things in your mind and you will know what I mean. Now that’s clear let’s see the “why” and the “how”.

Be Absolutely, Utterly, Infinitely Lazy

Yes, this is the most essential. I told you you’d like the new approach. If you take only one thing from this awesome, handsome, gorgeous, stunning article let it be this: own the attitude of a fat, lazy douche. Do not learn anything that is not absolutely necessary. Do not practice anything that’s not absolutely necessary. Instead find those damn shortcuts that can skyrocket your progress.

• Did you know that although the English language has more than 500.000 (five hundred thousand!) words, only 2000 of them make up 95% of the spoken language? This fortunately applies to almost any language. Learn that 2000 with special learning techniques in 1 month and you are good to go to craft fluency from those 2000 words.
• Instead of staring at endless wordlists on paper why not use some high-tech, easy-to-apply and fun-to-do mnemonics and learn hundreds of words in the fraction of time?

Consider the following: learning a new language is not a pain the arse (and not even in the neck!) but one of the funniest and fun things a human can do. Have you thought about the fact that only we, humans (ok, not all of us) can use the verbal language as a vehicle to convey our beautiful mind’s thoughts to another recipient who can then process it and spit back something in return and if it’s the opposite sex you might end up in bed? See? Told you it’s fun. Be lazy to keep at it. Be lazy to keep at shit.

Fail Quickly And Embrace The Cornstalk Theory

This is probably another advice that you’ve never heard about learning. Although this is obvious. If something doesn’t work for you then why keep at it? Drop, draw conclusions and move on. Easier said than done, eh? Yes, our mind has been regulated that “if you start something finish it” and “never give up” and other stuff.

Bollocks.

Although those ideas are nice and noble, but they will not only not help but will prevent you from making a fast and effective progress. How? Here is an example:

Have you ever tried a language school yet? If so then chances are you were forced to grind away at grammatical terms, endless wordlists (on a freaking sheet!) and talk to stranger classmates about things that didn’t move you in the least. Well this is not fun. Were you told that this is the only way to learn a new language? Sorry.

Bollocks.

Suffering for months and years under no-fun pressure is not something one is looking for. Have you failed? More importantly: have you failed fast enough? Have you tried something else or just kept doing the same thing and expected to succeed? One smart fellow once said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definite sign of insanity. He was called Einstein. So if you want to succeed with a new language then it’s probably high time to look for something new that actually works. Be that a new course, a new method, a new approach, a new teacher, a new awesome blog to follow with full of hand crafted tips from the bottom of the heart (ahem…). The key is to quickly realize what doesn’t work and get back to the most effective and fastest way. Introducing The Cornstalk Theory:

Cornhusk: all the little detours that you take on your way to master a new language. Once you realize you are on a Cornhusk, reverse and find the shortest way to the Cornfloss

Cornfloss: the right direction in order to achieve your goal (by the way: have you set a goal yet?). You know that you are on the Cornfloss when you are progressing with ease. If not, then you are cornhusked. Change direction as above.

In case you are having trouble with that, stay tuned, because we will elaborate on the topic heavily. And widely. And awesomely.

Getting a “Who Cares” Mask

Not literally and of course not a physical one. That would be too obvious that you don’t give a flying faucet about making mistakes. Let’s do a little test here. Give me three examples of people who got best at something and never made a mistake (Yoda doesn’t count). As we have discussed making mistakes is not to be embarrassed about. It is to be embraced instead. But in case you do get embarrassed (hey, even Yoda isn’t perfect) you must put on your Who Cares mask. This awesome tool will defend you from blushing, coughing, from the “Errr…” moments. And will make you look 66% more sexy (based on true science).

Installing a Who Cares mask involves several things: being confident in your existing (let it be as small as nothing) knowledge, be brave enough to use it. And that’s it. The Mask will take care of the rest. It will cheat on your behalf, it will fake on your behalf and you only need to have fun in the language. Sounds good, eh? OK, there will be some hard work involved, but how it is presented what makes a difference.

Be Hedonistic And Only Do What You Enjoy

This will probably help the most when developing new skills in a new language. This is so obvious that they forgot to tell you at school: if you enjoy something not only will you learn more and more effectively but you might even feel good about it and get more of it! How dare you, you bastard sonofab! Thing is it’s long proven that consolidating new information is best when one is having fun. Everyone likes to have fun. Even Yoda too. Not to mention you.

Having fun has the advantage that it gives you positive reinforcement which boosts your confidence and fuels your desire to get some more. Catch 22 – you can’t escape from it. So you must switch your attitude from the good old S&M to being hedonistic. Will you do that? If not, please list 3 reasons in the comment section why not. And also put “I like to suffer” at the end of your comment. Thank you.

Think about these things and come up with things to refutate the above mentioned. Then discard them and start working. Or throw ‘em at the comment section. I’d love to hear your excuses!

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